it's been a while...
there are moments throughout the day where i forget to breathe, in those few moments, i feel like an imposter in my own life. i stop and realize everything that's happend throughout the last 6 months, and i get so close to tears i want to scream. some of those tears are sorrow, but most are joy. sorrow because there are people i loved with my entire soul, and they are no longer here...and it feels like such a part of me is missing, and i'll never find it. sorrow because there are those i wasted so much of myself on, and i feel foolish for doing it. but joy because i found someone who loves me as much as i love him, and every part of me; every temper-tantrum, every smile, every tear...all of me. joy because after years of turmoil, i have a healthy relationship with members of my family that i never dreamed possible.
(im so emotional right now i feel like i could die).
wedding plans are going along anything but what feels like smoothly. i've had 2 days of it, and already i want to stomp my feet and elope. i cant handle all this planning, and responsibility. but i dont like the thought of someone that doesnt know me planning what is supposed to be the most important day of my life. its off to spokane this weekend for wedding-dress LURKING (no buying). im NOT excited. i can already feel trying on dress after dress is going to make me obscenely cranky. (mom, please bring me some tootsie rolls?)
this is it for now. i just told vancey that his pants are getting tight...he's not a happy boy :) (hehe!)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
