it's been a while...
there are moments throughout the day where i forget to breathe, in those few moments, i feel like an imposter in my own life. i stop and realize everything that's happend throughout the last 6 months, and i get so close to tears i want to scream. some of those tears are sorrow, but most are joy. sorrow because there are people i loved with my entire soul, and they are no longer here...and it feels like such a part of me is missing, and i'll never find it. sorrow because there are those i wasted so much of myself on, and i feel foolish for doing it. but joy because i found someone who loves me as much as i love him, and every part of me; every temper-tantrum, every smile, every tear...all of me. joy because after years of turmoil, i have a healthy relationship with members of my family that i never dreamed possible.
(im so emotional right now i feel like i could die).
wedding plans are going along anything but what feels like smoothly. i've had 2 days of it, and already i want to stomp my feet and elope. i cant handle all this planning, and responsibility. but i dont like the thought of someone that doesnt know me planning what is supposed to be the most important day of my life. its off to spokane this weekend for wedding-dress LURKING (no buying). im NOT excited. i can already feel trying on dress after dress is going to make me obscenely cranky. (mom, please bring me some tootsie rolls?)
this is it for now. i just told vancey that his pants are getting tight...he's not a happy boy :) (hehe!)
17.10.06
sleepless
if you're one of those people that look at the time of posts, yes, you are seeing this correctly. it is currently 3:43 a.m. , and i am wide fucking awake. dont ask me why, or how, i just am. i've been trying to sleep since approximately 11:30, but alas, no such luck (as you can see).
i have something bothering me, so for the first time ever, i'll ask those who read this for words of wisdom. here goes.
vance's sister is getting married may 19th, 2007. that's roughly 2 and a half months before us. thats fine with us, and up until recently, i thought it was fine with her, too. apparently, it isnt. she's been calling recently...and every single time she calls, she asks vance the same thing: "are you sure you really want to marry her?" . now being the 'her' in this question, only reinforces the feeling of resentment i get from her (im sure most reading this have heard me relay this encounter, if not, i'll cut it short; she was a bitch, didnt say 2 words to me, and didnt give a shit what i had to say. she gave me the same looks i've given the girlfriends of my brothers when i didnt like them. nickname? the wicked witch of the west.). anyway, so thats fine. i'm all for being a concerned sibling...but at some point, unless given a reason, you need to stop asking that question. i know vance, quite well i like to think, and if he wasnt ready for this, i'd be the first to know.
now this isnt actually whats bothering me. now being the un-married type, im not aware of the exact time length of a honeymoon. i'd assume roughly 2 weeks. well, according to vance's sister (her name is lisa), their's will be 3 months.
yes, you did read that correctly, as well. according to her, their plans are to go to nova scotia to visit the groom's family immediatly after the wedding, then head down south. im sorry, does that take 3 fucking months? so she had the nerve to call and tell vance that tonight. that maybe we should change the date of the wedding AGAIN (it's been done 3 times now, i'll get to that in a minute). am i just being defensive, or is that completely ludacris? she told him she didnt think they'd be back in time, so maybe we should postpone.
fuck that. i wonder if she realizes that we'd orignally planned for june, but then after she changed her date to the end of may, we thought that might be getting a little close to stealing her thunder, and since they were engaged first, and did plan first, i was okay with that. then we decided july, but the reception venue was booked. so that led us to augest 4th. that is the only weekend from the begging of may until the end of september that the room isnt booked. the only one!!
so here's my question. should we postpone our wedding so that his sister can have a 3 month long honeymoon, or attempt to reason with her?
thanx for the help.
i have something bothering me, so for the first time ever, i'll ask those who read this for words of wisdom. here goes.
vance's sister is getting married may 19th, 2007. that's roughly 2 and a half months before us. thats fine with us, and up until recently, i thought it was fine with her, too. apparently, it isnt. she's been calling recently...and every single time she calls, she asks vance the same thing: "are you sure you really want to marry her?" . now being the 'her' in this question, only reinforces the feeling of resentment i get from her (im sure most reading this have heard me relay this encounter, if not, i'll cut it short; she was a bitch, didnt say 2 words to me, and didnt give a shit what i had to say. she gave me the same looks i've given the girlfriends of my brothers when i didnt like them. nickname? the wicked witch of the west.). anyway, so thats fine. i'm all for being a concerned sibling...but at some point, unless given a reason, you need to stop asking that question. i know vance, quite well i like to think, and if he wasnt ready for this, i'd be the first to know.
now this isnt actually whats bothering me. now being the un-married type, im not aware of the exact time length of a honeymoon. i'd assume roughly 2 weeks. well, according to vance's sister (her name is lisa), their's will be 3 months.
yes, you did read that correctly, as well. according to her, their plans are to go to nova scotia to visit the groom's family immediatly after the wedding, then head down south. im sorry, does that take 3 fucking months? so she had the nerve to call and tell vance that tonight. that maybe we should change the date of the wedding AGAIN (it's been done 3 times now, i'll get to that in a minute). am i just being defensive, or is that completely ludacris? she told him she didnt think they'd be back in time, so maybe we should postpone.
fuck that. i wonder if she realizes that we'd orignally planned for june, but then after she changed her date to the end of may, we thought that might be getting a little close to stealing her thunder, and since they were engaged first, and did plan first, i was okay with that. then we decided july, but the reception venue was booked. so that led us to augest 4th. that is the only weekend from the begging of may until the end of september that the room isnt booked. the only one!!
so here's my question. should we postpone our wedding so that his sister can have a 3 month long honeymoon, or attempt to reason with her?
thanx for the help.
16.10.06
my body aches, and it hurts to say 'no one is moving on'
as you can see, i've changed the look of this blog. i got tired of the pink...the layout seemed mildly depressing, and with fall here, and winter not to far, i need something a little happier. know what i mean?
currently im sick. the stuffy-nose-sore-throat-achy-body-runny-nose-nonstop-cough-i-think-im-dying kind of sick. its terrible. i blame my father. last weekened we were out the lake, and sure enough, HE WAS SICK! and now i am. so dad, this is your fault.
not much has changed. if you heard about us moving out to shore acres, plans have changed. the doonya that was going to rent the place to us had a 'falling out' with his parents..and it turns out it was THEIR property, and they didnt want anyone renting on it. see, in my opinion (which is ALWAYS RIGHT), thats something you clear up BEFORE you give the go ahead to people. luckily our landlord is a pretty cool guy, and let us stay here.
what else is new....well, from the last post, the wedding date changed. august 4th now, instead of late july. the place we want the reception was booked..and after input from my mother, having it on a long weekend will make it much easier for people to travel. so august, here we come. plans are coming along slowly...we're dropping off the deposit cheque for the complex today, and then hopefully mom, steph and i will be making a trip to spokane to check out some wedding dresses. im not committing to any dress yet tho; i only want to see what i hate, what i love, and what looks good. hopefully what i love and looks good are cheap :)
anyway, i should get going. we've got a million things to do today, and im nowhere near being ready :) have a good week!
ps- if you're looking for a good new song to listen to, i recommend 'hello, im in delaware' by city and colour (dallas green).
currently im sick. the stuffy-nose-sore-throat-achy-body-runny-nose-nonstop-cough-i-think-im-dying kind of sick. its terrible. i blame my father. last weekened we were out the lake, and sure enough, HE WAS SICK! and now i am. so dad, this is your fault.
not much has changed. if you heard about us moving out to shore acres, plans have changed. the doonya that was going to rent the place to us had a 'falling out' with his parents..and it turns out it was THEIR property, and they didnt want anyone renting on it. see, in my opinion (which is ALWAYS RIGHT), thats something you clear up BEFORE you give the go ahead to people. luckily our landlord is a pretty cool guy, and let us stay here.
what else is new....well, from the last post, the wedding date changed. august 4th now, instead of late july. the place we want the reception was booked..and after input from my mother, having it on a long weekend will make it much easier for people to travel. so august, here we come. plans are coming along slowly...we're dropping off the deposit cheque for the complex today, and then hopefully mom, steph and i will be making a trip to spokane to check out some wedding dresses. im not committing to any dress yet tho; i only want to see what i hate, what i love, and what looks good. hopefully what i love and looks good are cheap :)
anyway, i should get going. we've got a million things to do today, and im nowhere near being ready :) have a good week!
ps- if you're looking for a good new song to listen to, i recommend 'hello, im in delaware' by city and colour (dallas green).
10.10.06
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
